I was never one of those people whose deepest longing was to be a mom. Sure, I wanted kids. You know, at some point.

Then I married Tyler. We had our time together as a couple, time to do the “couple things” like travel, stay out late with friends, sleep in as often as we wanted, spend money on frivolous things. It was during this time that I decided to pursue photography. I pursued it all right. I pursued it in full force – as full force as someone with a full-time job could do. It consumed me; I couldn’t get enough. I learned as much as I could, shot as much as I could, bought as much as I could (I don’t even want to know how much money has been spent). There were a lot of weekends away from Tyler, a lot of missed opportunities to be with friends and family, a lot of late nights editing photos, a lot of time spent (wasted?) daydreaming. But it was worth it, or so I thought.

And then, we decided to have a baby. We were both excited but nervous as could be. We knew life would change. We just didn’t realize how much. But change it did, and in many ways it for the better. Sure, there has been a lot of crying (some by Hayley, too), sleepless nights, trial and error. I’ve learned that being a parent means making tough choices, choices that are best for you and your family, not only now, but also for the future.

And I’ve made a tough decision this week – to give up photography as a business. I may continue to photograph friends and family from time to time, but I’m simply exhausted from trying to pursue the “dream.”

This decision was not made easily. I have been going through an internal battle and praying for weeks about how to balance a full time job, photography, being a mommy to a 7 month old, a wife, a good Christian. Simply put, I cannot do it all, and the call to be a good mom and wife is stronger than the call to be out on evenings and weekends photographing people (and then spending hours of editing, uploading, placing orders, marketing, etc. etc. etc.) instead of enjoying the most important people in my life. Someone once put it this way: “While I’m capturing other people’s memories, I’m missing out on making my own.” So true.

I won’t lie…this is one of the hardest things I’ve had to do. But when I look back in 20 years, my little one all grown up, me and Tyler old and gray, I don’t want to say, “Man, I took some pretty pictures!” Instead, I want to be able to say, “I loved with all I had.”

I will follow through with shooting the weddings that I’ve already booked, but as of right now, I am no longer taking new clients, either portrait or wedding. I thank you all for the support of my passion, the fun I’ve had getting to know you all and honor of photographing and capturing your lives.

**Booking requires a completed contract and paid session fee.

Start thanking me now…because The Girls With Glasses is going to be a blog you’ll want to visit over and over again. Not only are the Girls adorable, but they bring you DIY and fashion tips in a fun and quirky way. The best way to describe them is Zooey Deschanel meets Martha Stewart.

(source: The Girls With Glasses)

Aren’t they adorable?

So, what are some of your favorite blogs? I’d love to add a few new (non-photography) blogs to my google reader.

Sarah is a former professional model and was kind enough to spend a couple hours with me recently to let me shoot her gorgeous self. Thanks so much, Sarah! I had a blast…and you are just as beautiful on the inside as you are out. (she is one of the sweetest girls I know!)

Doesn’t she look a little like Marilyn Monroe here?

Favorite!!

This is Stephanie. She tagged along at a recent session I did with Sarah. Isn’t she pretty? I just love her eyes.

Sarah’s session will be blogged soon, so stay tuned for that!

The light was gorgeous the night we shot…I won’t say where we were for these photos because it is a potential location for the mini session, and therefore must remain top secret.

I still can’t believe my little girl is 6 months old today. Time is passing way too quickly. She’s nearly crawling, has two teeth and is the happiest baby I’ve ever known. And that laugh. Oh my Lord, that laugh…there is nothing like it, and when I hear it, I get butterflies in my stomach.

She is the biggest blessing and I can’t imagine my life without her – especially those scrunchy nosed smiles every time she sees her daddy.

If I remember correctly, I made it through a couple of rounds. I walked up to the microphone and received what would be my last word to spell that day: wiener. No joke.

I envisioned the word in my head (go ahead, giggle…you know you want to). I was pretty confident. I looked in the audience and received a reaffirming look from my mom. “I got this,” I thought to myself.

“Wiener. W-E-I-N-E-R. Wiener.” I smiled. And then I heard, “I’m sorry, that is incorrect.”

WHAT? I misspelled wiener? I knew I’d never live it down. I learned that day (and had engrained in my mind) the spelling rule of “i before e except after c.” Never again have I misspelled wiener (not that I spell it too often, mind you). My Grandpa Jim (God rest his soul), who always had a way of making me laugh told me next time, I’ll just have to spell it H-O-T-D-O-G. Gotta love it.

This past weekend, we took Hayley to see the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile in Jasper. It may not mean much to her now, but I hope these pictures will make her laugh one day (I mean, really, who drives their 5 month old about an hour both ways to see a big hot dog shaped car?). And also serve as a lesson in how to spell wiener properly. She’ll thank me later, I’m sure.

A couple snapshots of me and Tyler with Hayley. It was so cold, but she didn’t seem to mind.

And their momma and dad? Well, it’s pretty evident how much they love each other. Nothing better than that!

It was a cold, windy day. But that didn’t stop us from getting some great shots.

I love when real life happens during sessions. Isaiah started messing with Sammy’s hair and we just let him play. This is my favorite from the session, and it made me even happier that Andrea ordered this print.

And while I love that this family loves each other, what I love even more is how much they love God. Even through the tough times. No — especially through the tough times. So thank you, Andrea, for being an inspiration to me and a reminder of what faith really is.  Your heart for God is so evident in all that you do.

Much love,

Nicole